a small dream 2/13/2026, a Friday

dreamed about a box being delivered to my porch. Smaller than a shoe box; larger than a VHS case. Very solid. Black. I was happy (giddy) about the delivery, but afraid of being disappointed with the contents

not a big deal as far as subject matter; I've had more mundane dreams, but for some reason this is resonating and sticking.

My guess is something is coming -- when isn't there? -- something small in a big package? Something large in a small package?

something boxed and sealed up, meaning done and over ? There are a couple things that could cover.

The emotions, which are what vibrates at a higher frequency, seem pretty straightforward.

Wanting the resolution but uncertain of what changes it will bring.

What do you think?

Mary Christmas

I dreamed about visiting Mary, and she wanted to make out Christmas cards with me. She had some cards exactly like some I had, trees made with the words 'happy holidays' spelled out in green leaves, holly, I think) Her idea was to not send the same card to the same people. 

I was trying to hook up phones and computers and other tech stuff, and she became upset when I wasn't paying attention.
But I kept trying to get everything hooked up, and while I was doing that she went ahead and decorated for the holiday.
I had to hook up the phone because it didn't ring when my dad answered it (He just looked down and it was lit, so he answered) but it wasn't ringing because it wasn't connected to the main brain computer. Everything had to go through it. 

There was a lot of time and attention to connecting the woolly (They were like huge hair balls, all coiled in on themselves.Maybe old landline coiled phone cords) wires ? that would make that connection, which involved me slowing down and taking my time and really looking at the connections. (They looked like the test strips for my Onetouch glucometer) and once I discovered that I could get the connections fitted together.

Then Mary was wanting to know what to do with the icicles, since they were mine, because she didn't want to put them around the fireplace (!?!) again this year, and while I was working I kept making different suggestions. Around the front door (of our Decatur house) was one of the pop-up suggestions that she considered. Around the windows from inside the house was another. A third option was attaching them to the wall and making a frame for her little (@4ft) white LED lighted christmas tree along the edge of the little niche it was in.
We were also watching Murder She Wrote. (That part makes sense, because that's what I had on the tv as I went to sleep.)

Running. June 19, 2025

 I, as I am today (fat, breathless, with limited mobility, in both action and duration) was in Burke Park, here in my hometown -- where I grew up and to where I have returned. 

There was some type of family gathering, of a sort, but not an event. May have even been coincidental. As I came around the curve at the bottom of the hill from the tennis courts, I spotted Rita and Jeanie and others. Not sure of all -- Chip and David were spotted, and David's grandkids, and several others, nieces and nephews, and maybe some cousins. 

I waved at my sisters and they waved back.

I had got to where the sidewalk goes up to the old school (I remember when that was the new school!)

I was inspired and I started jogging up that sidewalk. Jogging, and then I even managed to burst into an actual run, then I was at the top. 

The former playground spread before me. The school building, with that odd corner thing, was to my right. The area was paved -- old pavement, but well kept. Crumbling edges, but the edges had been weed-whipped.

In the exact middle of this area was a concrete slab where the monkey bars, slide, and swings had been when I attended. The merry-go-round (if there was one then; I don't remember) had been a distance from the others. The slab where those things had stood looked the same, except there were round places where the poles that rooted the equipment had been. Not holes -- the holes had long ago been filled in with newer concrete. If there had ever been a layer smoothed over it all to make it even, that layer had worn away except where the holes had been.

The concrete pad was a clear rectangle of shape and I decided to run the perimeter of that before finishing my lap around the playground and back down to the park where there was paved roadway that I have never in my life seen used. The park end has always been blocked by pillars. (I'm not telling you how long that's been -- it's a ridiculous amount of time. If you know me, you know enough.)

I trotted/jogged around the rectangle, but didn't go down the closed roadway. My amazed family was all coming from the park up beside the shelter house, and where the caretaker's house had been before it wasn't. 

So, we met in the road that winds between the school buildings and the baseball park.

"Did you see me? I ran! I was running!"  I wasn't even breathless, and oh, that brief run had been fantabulous! It has been so long! Even the jog-trot had been exhilarating, but OH, that RUN!

They were all cheering and congratulating me and wishing they could get that lucky, and we all -- well, all who had come from the park -- started walking from Fossyl Drive to South Street while a bunch of us chattered away, talking over one another, about how I had been running; actually running, and I described how it had felt.

***********************

When we got home and was telling our mother about it, she told us she had once dropped "some things" into those pole holes before they filled them in. And that was that.

Rita and I were trying to figure out how to dig them up or out, because we were curious as to what the items were and when she had buried them in the playground graves. 

We couldn't ask her, because she wasn't there to ask or answer. She's been dead for more than one decade. 

bare bones (April 13, 2025)

Lot of craziness here: food, bones (what is with the bones?) pregnancy, incision hole, blood, holding in, ambulances, female news reporter (yeah, some significance to that but I don't know what) , my mother,
don't remember any weather

This dream had the foundation for one helluva political thriller, if I could remember enough of it to write it out. And if that was something I wanted to write.

Food was in the first part; not sure of specific involvement. I'd had surgery and was in bed. I had pain in one specific location -- just under lower right side ribs. Nobody believed me that it hurt "that bad" and insisted it was something I ate and I'd have to wait it out. For me to quit being a big baby.
And then they -- mainly my mother -- left me alone. I dozed off and on for who knows how long but that pain in my side was pulsing stronger and kept waking me up.

Finally I lifted my shirt, and there was an incision there and the very top was unraveling and I could see bits of white splinters poking out, so I was trying to coax them out with my fingers, using a very light touch. They were very wet and slimy.
The reason it was so difficult to get the pieces out was because there was a bunch of them hooked together as a unit.
They were a miniature torso skeleton. Bare bones; very small and very white. about the length of my thumb and half as wide.
When I moved them out of the way, the wound started bleeding.
I stuffed the bones back in and put the palm of my hand on the hole and pressed down to keep it in there, because it would die outside. I needed to keep it in, and protect it,possibly from leaking.
And I became hysterical.
Eventually I was screaming about my baby, my baby, and yelling at my mother to do something; I needed help, etc etc.
She called an ambulance and brought me some ~cloth~ to put between my hand and the hole, but every time I tried to lift my hand , the little bones would pop up to the top of the bloody wound and I'd clamp down without the cloth and force them down deeper inside me
Throughout the whole rest of the dream, am holding my hand, palm down, over the bloody hole, with the lil bones bobbing around every now and then. My hand stayed clamped down on that one spot, except for a couple peeks to see if it was getting any better or any worse. Didn't see the bones again, but knew they were there.

The ambulance took me to a couple hospitals, and at the last one is where the reporter appeared. (Maybe she was listening to dispatch?) The ambulance told her they couldn't get any hospital tp even look at me, and she called a different ambulance that came and picked me up from the first ambulance at, I think, the third hospital that rejected me. She climbed in the back with me as they headed out and was helping me, clicking her tongue at the bloody hole where I just needed stitched back up to keep everything contained and make the bleeding stop. She helped apply pressure, and we were traveling down the road; round and round and round it goes. Where it will stop no one knows.
But it's going to be one HELL of a story! For the reporter.

Beth, Rex, and a knife 9/14/23

dream: someone kidnapped me; bunch of friends and family came to my rescue. Someone else with me; my sister Beth. Only somehow she was both the kidnapper and a fellow victim thereof.

were in a basement, bare light bulb overhead. tied and then being untied. Beth was laughing at having fooled me with the kidnapping "joke", and I was shrugging it off, amd Rex was staring at me as if I were particularly stupid. Beth was sitting up higher than me, on a table maybe, not tied but sitting like she was. Rex asked me what was WRONG with me, and I said, gesturing, well it's not like she used a knife or anything, and this knife flies in from somewhere and goes right through Beth's hand pinning it to the table or whatever.
Then everybody's staring at me. Beth is mad and Rex looks befuddled. I say well, i didn't even know there was a knlfe, and then everyone started talking over each other all at once, and I just wanted out of there because it was diisturbing me that that knife moved through the air when I gestured, so I woke up. I was a bit befuddled then.

 Dreams trying to tell me something; also general malaise.

Yesterday: went to work for this family as a nanny/au pair/mommy's helper . Man in wheel chair sometimes on oxygen sometimes not. Rather nondescript. Woman,mother working corporate type .managing everything. Two children one of each. Go on excursion (amusement park?fair?) Have to go to bathroom when we get back, woman directs me to it. While using toilet i hear sounds and pull away shower curtain to see a skinny brown haired girl hiding in there from this stranger who just rushed in and did her bizness. in the morning woman is giving man his medicine and i hear a prefix to one of the meds that she is giving which tells me he has some advanced form of COPD and i ask her and she says yes.

After that I am reading the contract that outlines my duties and i keep thinking that i didn't know i was supposed to do that! Woman sees me reading and is surprised because I'm already doing the work.

*"""""*"*****""******** Today

Back in same situation and then i remember that this was just a crazy dream i had, but it feels important. So i start talking to other person discussing possible messages thereof.

Then something unsettled about beds and blankets from now and from the past. Remember no details of this part except girl was involved somehow.

Then we were back in Mt orab and the people in the back had to put their garbage out on our street and we let them come through our yard to do it. (Irl Thursday morning dumpsters dumping?)

Also KO reading my phone Facebook messages to me and Amazon lists.

Making hot tea for my mother, with lemon, and me and Rita O'Toole are going to go to store for some chips or crunchy snacks. Store is 1st stop in Winchester .i say about $$ not being used in my bank account from job i am not working

Trying to get kids off to school. tammy Tracy Collins Jericka Hill and the two kids from the dream keep making noise and clang banging and finally child Tammy yells for me that they need help they can't get the door open to go out it. Because garbage cans are piled up against the door; both metal and plastic some with lids. Only 4 cans though so where are the others?

Too late now to go to store but Rita and i decide to go to next town which turns into some other town before we get there and we are trying to find gas station/ convenience store that is open. We find a couple but they are for fancy cars so we don't go there.we go to one we think we know but it is restaurant instead of store and it is also a fancy car place and Tracy Collins wants to sit in a booth that folds out. Rita and i get mad because i can't sit in a booth so Tracy Collins can sit wherever she wants but she's being inconsiderate.

We are getting ready to order when we (I) remember we are just supposed to be getting snacks, not going out to eat, and here it is already 6 am and we have to get back.

*********

Irl it is first 419 and then 438 am actual time.

vanishing vision?

dreamed of losing and discovering my glasses. Not sure how it started, maybe with dream me waking up and putting my glasses on, doing my morning routine, and realizing, as I am at my computer, that I can't see, so I must have forgot to put my glasses on. I go pick up the case and the glasses aren't there! I panic and start looking everywhere and sit back down at computer to see if anyone can come help me look for them, and I tilt my head up to see through the reading section of my bifocals. They were on my face!
Oh well, maybe in my panic I picked them up and put them on without realizing it. I've done sillier things at such times. (And before you laugh too hard, how many times have YOU looked for your phone using the phone's flashlight?)
Next I am in a house with my sisters and we're talking and all of a sudden I realize that I'm not wearing my glasses. (AGAIN!)
I had to have had them on! I drove myself to Rita's! So we all start looking for them, because neither Rita nor Jean could remember seeing them. Or seeing me take them off, or anything.
And I go to rub my eye, or scratch my nose, or something, and my fingers/hand encounter my glasses frames. They are again on my face! (Wouldn't you have thought my sisters would have looked there first?)
We marvel at how nobody saw them and they were there all the time.

********************

seems somewhat obvious -- I'm not seeing what I'm looking at. Or I'm not understanding something I can plainly see. Or maybe there's something I can sometimes see, and ignore, but also sometimes I don't see it. 

But what is 'it'?

Is it social or professional? (computer is where I both socialize and write.) 

Is it familiar? (my sisters.) Are we all not-seeing or not acknowledging something?

Could it be something mech/tech? (Car and computer. I have taken action regarding problems with my computer and I am more than aware of many of the problems with my car. For all its problems, though, it still, for the most part, gets me where I need to go. When it doesn't, I always wonder what would've/might've happened if it had, with a little frisson of worry.)

Maybe I need to change my outlook (vision?)